Light… glorious light ….

horsemafia

‘Along your ride called β€œLife”, you may encounter rough storms. The dark clouds and unrelenting winds may bring feelings of sadness, grief, depression, anxiety or maybe even anger or resentment. Keep Riding. Just ahead, the clouds will disappear, the winds will blow over and you will find your peace. It is now that you become the bright light for others going through their storm. If you can, help them through it.’
~–Unknown–~

Photo: Copyright Β© 2013 The Horse Mafia.
Photo and artwork in its entirety: Copyright Β© 2013 The Horse Mafia.

Out of Suffering …

outofsuffering

Out of suffering has emerged
the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are
seared with scars .. ~ Unknown

Yep I may be a little beat up ( scarred up ) BUT I’m not broken and I’m still standing …

Thank you God!

Image Credit: Reiki Revolution

Peace !?!?! Love !?!?! Coffee !?!?!?!

peace-love-coffee

The other morning I woke and realized there was very little coffee left in the house as in just enough for a couple of cups 😦 Mind you, purchasing the coffee on the day I was at the store was not the problem. I can buy a small jar of Pampa brand for a buck at DG, but forgot it. Yep! I forgot it! Shame on ME! But on this morning it was too late to do anything about it, because making sure there was enough gas in the car for him to get to work Friday was the issue.

coffeebeforetalky

No problem, I keep teabags in the house for just such an occasion. And being the cheerful and charitable morning person that I am, left what was left for my husband who is not the nicest morning person in the world. Add the stresses of our situation and OMG!

Well on that morning, he was a bear, and started nitpicking about everything he could think of, including the fact that there was so little coffee left and about ( whispers ) my ‘incompetency’ as a domestic goddess. All this while he walked away from the kitchen counter with a steaming hot cup of coffee. One large cup is his limit, mind you. I was the one who was going without my coffee.

Needless to say we had some words over his all too frequent morning grumblings.

Still he is one that spouts off and if you leave him be, he’s over it in no time. I can’t shake things like he does.

Honestly we don’t argue much by comparison. Because it takes two to argue and I don’t like arguing about diddly nonsense. Life is much too hard to worry myself sick over the small stuff. My thinking is we have enough on our plates to be hateful to one another.

Well, usually this would start world war three, but I didn’t care at that moment. I was pissed by his insensitivity.

I guess I made my point because he settled down almost immediately and we went about our day. With me, drinking milk white, hot tea which is the way my Nanny Esham taught me to drink it as a child. Still, even milk-white tea, gives me the jitters when consumed in my usual quantities.

Needless to say, I did not sleep well that night. In fact, I didn’t sleep hardly at all.

I woke early, and woke him with another steaming hot cup of coffee to send him off to work at the fleamarket with. More, milk-white hot tea for me. Still, grateful for some time to myself.

Yesterday, I went back to bed and slept the best part of the day away. No doubt I needed it BUT it makes me feel useless and as if I wasted my day.

Truthfully I was downright ill. And didn’t feel much better when I woke up.

Last night I was still feeling defeated and kind of weepy. Maudlin my husband called it.

I know we all handle stress and metabolize differently but caffeine is caffeine, isn’t it? POSSIBLY NOT!

Ron came home from the flea market yesterday in much better spirits having made $17.00. After putting a bit more gas in the car, he had $9 on him when he got home. Between that and a badly needed $20 donation that came through yesterday morning , I was able to get back to DG and purchase not one, but two jars of coffee, cat food and a few other things we needed.

So such is a few days in the life of a caffeine addict.

Your donations are still needed and greatly appreciated!

https://allbuthomeless.wordpress.com/donations-welcome/

Blessed are …

blessedarethemisfits

Then all I can say, is that I must be REALLY REALLY blessed! πŸ˜‰

All kidding aside, I know I am blessed and YET I must admit, I still question why things must get pretty bad, before the realization strikes me again. Perhaps it is MY GOD, just whipping me into shape for something HUGE, yet to unfold !?!?

“Because God is never cruel, there is a reason for all things. We must know the pain of loss; because if we never knew it, we would have no compassion for others, and we would become monsters of self-regard, creatures of unalloyed self-interest. The terrible pain of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to soften uncaring hearts, to make a better person of a good one.” ~ Dean Koontz

Image Credit : An Attitude of Gratitude
Quote : Dean Koontz

“Feast or famine that’s the way of the world. The difference between those who perish and those who survive is faith that the sun rises again tomorrow….”

I woke today to find this quote on my stepson’s FB page. TC is a man of few words usually. He been through a lot in his 38 years and usually quite stoic so I was quite surprised to see it.

I don’t know if he wrote it or not, and I have yet to research its origins …… and No, I don’t feel it was aimed at me. He is dealing with his own battles right now and finding the bitter taste of humble pie intolerable , as well TRYING to be there for his father TJ ( who is also in crisis ) which is next to impossible. Trust me, I know.

I remember the last time my stepson and I had meaningful conversation several months ago, we were on the phone for hours and it was nice to catch up.

His parting words were ” I believe your faith will get you through this!”

“Mom” he said. I can hear it in your voice, this deep abiding spirituality. You’re going to be ok.”

I could hear the LOVE ( and dare I say, smile) in his voice as he said it.

I can’t explain it, but I was beaming with pride in that instant. That this kid ( not a kid anymore , who I raised for five years when I was just a kid myself, had so much insight. That some of my beliefs had rubbed off on him. Heck, I did something RIGHT!!!

Anyway, his insights were RIGHT ON about me.

I have lived much of my journey powered on little more than faith. This way of thinking has gotten me through a lot of todays and tomorrows ( especially in the last two years )

Today I woke AGAIN ( like I do most days ) with hope in a new day.

But I am weary! So very weary! And worried….. and stressed!

And the DAY is long from over.

I have lost so much of my worldly possessions, I can’t afford to lose my faith too, because that is the only thing keeping me going at this moment.

Thanks so much for listening.