“Feast or famine that’s the way of the world. The difference between those who perish and those who survive is faith that the sun rises again tomorrow….”

I woke today to find this quote on my stepson’s FB page. TC is a man of few words usually. He been through a lot in his 38 years and usually quite stoic so I was quite surprised to see it.

I don’t know if he wrote it or not, and I have yet to research its origins …… and No, I don’t feel it was aimed at me. He is dealing with his own battles right now and finding the bitter taste of humble pie intolerable , as well TRYING to be there for his father TJ ( who is also in crisis ) which is next to impossible. Trust me, I know.

I remember the last time my stepson and I had meaningful conversation several months ago, we were on the phone for hours and it was nice to catch up.

His parting words were ” I believe your faith will get you through this!”

“Mom” he said. I can hear it in your voice, this deep abiding spirituality. You’re going to be ok.”

I could hear the LOVE ( and dare I say, smile) in his voice as he said it.

I can’t explain it, but I was beaming with pride in that instant. That this kid ( not a kid anymore , who I raised for five years when I was just a kid myself, had so much insight. That some of my beliefs had rubbed off on him. Heck, I did something RIGHT!!!

Anyway, his insights were RIGHT ON about me.

I have lived much of my journey powered on little more than faith. This way of thinking has gotten me through a lot of todays and tomorrows ( especially in the last two years )

Today I woke AGAIN ( like I do most days ) with hope in a new day.

But I am weary! So very weary! And worried….. and stressed!

And the DAY is long from over.

I have lost so much of my worldly possessions, I can’t afford to lose my faith too, because that is the only thing keeping me going at this moment.

Thanks so much for listening.

Puppy Love and Prayer…

mildo

Meet Millie .. Truly the light of my life. I first met Millie when she was about six weeks old ( New Years Day 2012 ) when one neighbor wanted to give her to us. Because of our financial situation, I declined so my next door neighbor took her instead and basically, I had daily access to her and fell madly in love with this little critter.

Millie is no doubt a handful and when Millie went into her first heat, the neighbor’s husband started threatening to get rid of her. Ultimately, she moved next door to my house instead and since, she has brought us so much joy.

Millie is not only adorable, but she has such a great personality but as said she is a handful and gets into everything and would woof down a tin can if she thought she could manage it.

Several days ago I noted Millie, wasn’t feeling well. Nothing I could put my finger on at first. She just wasn’t her bouncy self. In the last couple of days, I noticed that her appetite was waning too and so I kept a close watch on her.

Yesterday, I surmised that we had a tummy ache ( probably constipated ) so I went to the feed store and bought one of the syringe-type feeders and some mineral oil.

Then went on poop patrol. Oh joy!

It broke my heart to watch her little eyes squint as the mineral oil started moving through her. She was somewhat listless one minute and chasing her tail the next ( no doubt, not at all pleased with this new sensation ) She didn’t like the remnants of the mineral oil that was messing up her ‘do’, either. She is so expressive too, and every once in awhile, I’d catch her giving me ‘that look’ like ‘what the hell, have you done to me mom. ‘ I felt terrible.

Nevertheless, the mineral oil seemed to have done the trick and though she just laid around for much of the day, I did get her to eat a little tiny bit of moist dog food and a little bit of soup broth with bits of ham ( she hates dog food ) she loves people food which is part of the problem I think. But when she turned her nose up a beef liver the other day, I really started worrying about my little girl.

Still, I was REALLY worried about dehydration because I never once saw her go to her water dish yesterday, nor the day before.

I worried about having to take her to the vet BECAUSE I could not afford to take her to the vet.

Last night, she came to bed with us, and wanted right in the middle …

Of course , we indulged her.

It was like sleeping with a sick toddler. I woke every few hours to check on her but she barely moved all night which worried me too.

This morning, I woke and usually she bounces up with me.

Not this morning so I picked her up and carried her out with me. She was lighter than usual, easily by a few pounds.

Usually she squirms impatiently, waiting for me to tinkle so she can go outside for her morning walk. Today she just stood there looking up at me, licking her lips like someone just waking up from surgery with a bad case of cotton mouth.

And no accidents on the floor either. And trust me, that is not MY Millie.

I decided to try the syringe again ( this time with water) to hydrate her.

She would not have it. And squirmed fiercely to get away from me and “IT”

She then paced back in the living room giving that look again.

Now I was really WORRIED and said a prayer for Millie.

Just as soon as I finished and looked up, she was rounding the bend near the end of the couch, looking back at me suspiciously BUT WAS headed for the water bowl where she took a nice healthy drink.

Whew! Thank you Lord!

7/17/2013 it’s official ( 3 months today)

tryagaintom

Another milestone. It’s our blogs three month anniversary!

And instead of feeling festive, feeling a little deflated today.

Sorry, some days ARE just better than others. Wish all my posts could be positive. BUT no worries trying to shake it.

Nothing to do with the blog, just a rough couple of days here on the home front.

Yesterday, we learned we still have some scrambling to do to get our food assistance continued. They want our verification letters redone to include actual closure date of business and re-signed.

Which means the trip we made to Jinny’s the other day was all for naught as far as the paperwork was concerned.

Just a little FRUSTRATING.

Later we stopped by the complex where our business WAS to talk to neighbors, when the landlord and a deputy showed up to ‘secure’ the storefront FINALIZING the EVICTION process . This would have been done more than a month ago had their attorneys not messed up their paperwork

That encounter went amicably enough HOWEVER, the finality of it was somewhat startling.

I left in tears and could NOT shake that deflated feeling all day.

Today I am feeling somewhat better.

But We also failed to pay balance of July’s mortgage payment is $256.87 by yesterday which is somewhat worrisome. .

$175.00 has already been paid.

TODAY we will try again.

Life goes on…. and yippppppppppppeeee. it’s our anniversary, right?

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